— PART 1: CREATION AND DESTRUCTION —
Creation and perspectives.
That is all we are and have.
Plant seeds, water them, protect them. Then watch it blossom. May it be anything: relationships, passion projects, art, children. Nature, nurture. Nurture, nature.
It is there where the zest of life is. In creation. And in that deepening, we find what so many of us alive and deceased and yet to be speak of: Love.
Creation is loving. Creation strips the dead skin of everything and reveals the beauty of impermanence.
Creation is total devotion.
An exclamation mark from the heart.
Thoughts rise and fall of creation I brought.
I’ve nurtured and watered and sought good soil so my love could find light.
And equally, I’m the sole witness to what I’ve destroyed or let wither.
In some cases a slow decaying death like forgotten friendships and ideas and unfinished sentences… And in some cases, I destroyed abruptly. Cut it down right where it stood so that only a stump remained.
When I reflect on these moments my heart at times feels like a forest of tree stumps.
Do you feel that way too?
A glimpse on the barren land comes with the smell of fading memories of what once was and the remnants of all I gave.
The abrupt cutting binds me to this forest.
And this forest is bound to me.
…The Forest That Seeks Redemption.
— PART 2: INTO THE FOREST —
In the Forest That Seeks Redemption are also healthy trees. Tall and wise. With roots that dig deep to touch the earth’s crust. These are all the seeds that have sprouted and grown regardless of the seasons of life.
The Forest is quiet apart from the trees. Tree stumps sigh with melancholy. Healthy ones hum a hymn. Sunlight pierces the canopy onto the bark.
At the entrance of the forest sits a moss-covered buddha. The passing of time has left its mark and so has Gaia. She has graced him with viridescence.
The significance of this buddha statue can not be understated. Not as a symbol of religion, but as a symbol of acceptance. He is a gatekeeper. He sits without judgment, knowing full well what lies behind him in the Forest That Seeks Redemption.
He too feels both the decay and the divine. He too feels the despair, sadness, and sorrow for that which no longer grows. He too observes the contrast of the healthy oak, banyan, and beech that reach, for the heavens. He observes. All.
In front of the buddha sits 1 offering bowl and 2 cups on either side:
One on the left, one on the right.
They are there to bring balance to our inner forest.
The right cup receives from the offering bowl all that is meant to honour what is still alive. The left cup is to honour all that once was.
Right for the healthy trees.
Left for what was meant to be.
Do I see that stump and beech each deserve their fair share of attention and love? Balance is the perspective. And the perspective is balanced.
How often do I visit that buddha?
How often do you visit him?
How balanced are your offerings?
— PART 3: SEEK NO MORE —
Why did I cut and cast away? Shame. Cowardice. Inability to nurture the mighty oak. And so with grief, I look at what I’ve done. And with understanding, I see what I’ve done.
Words are mere words. They do not turn back time nor do they glue shattered hearts or close wounds. Therefore these words serve not to soothe.
They are meant as a vessel through which I better my actions.
And I realize that part of pain is seeking redemption. Forgiveness. But I see now, that is not the role of the stump. Your role was there to gift me love in the most unique way that you could give it. And I received it. And I received you. In all your beauty. And I thank you, for you have made life richer and my forest fuller.
What we shared is not lost.
It is found in the Forest That Seeks Redemption. Where it is calm and peaceful and with the years passing through, life grows onto you. Organisms, mushroom, and moss. They give beauty to what was.
Let today be the day we listen.
To put my ear to earth, my eye to sky, and place my palms on the leaves that I’ve shook down. To remember. To honour impermanence. To honour love in all its seasons.
Commentary:
This is my most vulnerable post to date. I hesitated for months about whether to share it. Last June I ended a loving relationship. One that was beautiful through every season we experienced. This is not the place to disclose why it ended. But it does feel the right place to honour it. Even when things end, they may still receive our love. For they are a part of me. And I of them. Until the day my last breath is drawn. May these words offer comfort to anyone going through the complex emotions of love. Whether you are in its thrilling beginning or honouring what was.
Read it now for the third time and am finding deeper insights every time. Your writing is truly a gift that keeps on giving
Read it now for the third time and am finding deeper insights every time. Your writing is truly a gift that keeps on giving